Sunday, January 23, 2005
Life to me lately has just been crazy. Crazy good that is. Everything seems to be going just so well. I'm going through the bad like its nothing. Maybe I'm maturing or something lol. Anyway, I thought I'd tell u about my dating life. I'm dating a guy named Ryan, he's my bf now actually. He's an awesome guy at Normal Community High School. I know ur wondering about Curt and josh. Well idk whats going on with Josh....I havent been able to talk to him. Curt and I are doing really good. We are just friends which is soo awesome. i love him as a friend lol. hes the greatest. but back to Ryan. He's amazing. We have so much fun together and I'm so comfortable around him. I think thats b/c we were friends first which made for a great start to a new relationship. I feel like a rocket flown into space lol. That's a weird analogy but I'll explain. When a rocket shoots off ur a scared and excited and u have all of these opposing feelings racing through ur vains at the same exact time and then ur off and the feelings get stronger and stronger until u break through the atmosphere and its calm. You're in that moment of awe at how amazing and how much of a rush this is. To look out of that lil window and be in another area far beyond ur dreams. You feel as though u've found your Heaven.
Posted at 2:51 pm by SexyLexy
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Saturday, January 08, 2005
i think i was played by my best friend and therefore....this may be done and over.
i dont really know what to think,say,or do. i'm just left in destruction of despair. its all really shocking to me.
Posted at 1:44 pm by SexyLexy
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Thursday, January 06, 2005
My Shadows Heart Is the Only Thing Thats Beating...he made my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. For Now It has stopped all together.
"Shine Inside"
Are you aware? when you just stare,
for hours, into the sky
what do you see? can you show it to me
the beauty...
I can see you shine inside
I want to see the world - see it in a new light
I can feel your spirit rise
I want to see the world through your eyes
I watch you breathe, sitting under the tree
the peace that you find
you take my hand, waves crash on the sand
what's done - left behind
I'm in forever lasting Ecstasy
I Love him~ I really do. One night and my heart has turned towards a new light. Lord, I've loved him for 7 years. It took me that long to get the impact from the fall. Falling for 7 years...I fell for him. I did something I wouldn't have even dreamed of doing. Although i knew it was wrong, and it went against everything I believe in. I Loved It. I Love him. It all just felt right to me. Like for once in my life i was at peace, and I felt like i was doing the right thing and in the right place. For once I knew what it felt like to be intertwined and in love and so content yet crazy that I wanted to sink further into his arms and scream at the same time. Everything was absolutely perfect. He's coming on Saturday. We'll see how this goes.
ifell for you and i dont regret it...
Heaven one more day and I feel as tho I'm too far gone.
Lexy
Posted at 10:18 pm by SexyLexy
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Saturday, January 01, 2005
Sweet Innocence
Fingers, they seem like a simple body part,
but so easily they can quicken the heart.
Two hand intertwined and slightly sweaty
and it so beautifully signifies the beginning.
Grab my hand and squeeze it lightly
It's innocent and so exciting
Rub your thumb across my hand
Enough electricity to make my hair stand
Use your fingers to trace my face
Feel my beauty, know my grace
Let your fingers run across my skin
See the bliss that I am in
Run your fingers through my long hair
Take me in your arms with such gentle care
Put your long fingers up against me
Tell me i'm beautiful time after time
When I am crying, wipe the tears from my cheeks
Want me and hold me, thats all I want, please
When we are in public, please hold me hand
So everyone will know that you are my man
Hold my face in your hands and kiss me so soft
With your perfect hands what more could I want
Touching me gently,innocently,sweetly
Showing me how much you love me
Take me in your arms and show me our star
Let me see just how perfect you are
You can hug me and kiss me but neither will show
Exactly what it is that I need to know
That what we have is not based upon sex
But you can love me in Sweet Innocence.
Everything today is just so beautiful to me.
Posted at 11:12 am by SexyLexy
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Well New Year's Eve was awesome. I spent the night with Josh...lucky me. That's all I really have to say about that. ;)
Now's the year I get my chance to start over. I'm wanting this year to be so much better then the last one. I know it will be; it sure started out great.
My New Year Resolution
Well I know you have to have one.... and I've been thinking about it a lot actually. I'm not going to tell you....I guess maybe when it happens it'll show up in here. SRy.....but thats life.
Posted at 10:50 am by SexyLexy
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Monday, December 27, 2004
I wish it was still that simple... to live in Neverland would be a trip.
Posted at 8:55 am by SexyLexy
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Step on the scene with some green and some hard white work
Real clean fresh jeans and a all white shirt
We all get money and we all smoke twerk
Hit the dirt one squirt will leave all yall murk
Cause im fresh in my white tee they glance at my white tee and i
Got the hat that match my pants and my white tee
Whoever that you might see
I know they got a white tee
Uncle brother sister mother dad or ur wifey
Hanes or fruit of the loom be the
Name of my white tee
I gotta change man its a stain on my white tee
Lames in a white tee i bring the pain in my white tee
Hispanic cracka nigga even yangs wearin white tee
Hit the club deep and we all got a white tee
A throw back no that hell naw it dont excite me
You dont need no throwback cause you will be set on your white
Tee you can get a circle or a v neck on ur white tee
You haven't lived 'til you've partied w/ me. That's life baby. This Friday is going to be hot~ Me and my girl Jen are goin out. (Well there was more here, but i reread it a couple days later....and it was kinda harsh) So the whole thing is.....I'm not going to screw myself over and hurt myself for "him".
Not for any guy.
~ while I was with "him" he like hated this guy (my Xbf). He got all pissed at me for hangin out with him on Halloween, but seriously there were like 15 other ppl. But of course there is no justifing myself to him. Anyway, I saw my x the other day....... HE WAS SEXY AS HELL!!! I'm so serious. I almost died right there. So it looks like we are going to hook up sometime this weekend too. :)
Posted at 8:46 am by SexyLexy
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Life is good. Things from hell just keep poping up, and for awhile, I just didnt know how to react. I guess growing up a little faster then most my age made me more mature and more ready for what newfound obstical life has thrown at me. Now I know that to dwell on the bad would be depriving me of all that is good and even great in my lfe. I guess I am just living life right now and making money. Being with friends and family.....its what I feel I should be doing right now. I have no need to worry about the future or the past. I also have no need to worry when it comes to loves lost and others coming into the picture. Everything has its time and by worring I am depriving myself of so much more. So here's my thoughts and insight on to who I am right now and who I want to remain as.
I want to be me.
Posted at 11:37 am by SexyLexy
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Thursday, December 16, 2004
Do you know how much I love you?
Life is goin' good I guess. It has its ups and downs. You know that one time that I mentioned Josh and how he's my best friend and I love him to death? Well yeah that guy. I miss him so much. I've missed him since the last time I saw him. The day I met Curt, well Josh and I were dating then and we actually had a date planned for that day but Josh didnt have his car. He loaned it to his mom. That's when we stoppe being together. I've known him for almost 7 years. The more I know him the more I love him. You know those old wine bottles u have dusty and in a cellar for years and years. Well don't they get sweeter with time? There is actually a song like that I think. But anyway thats me and Josh. No matter how many guys i've gone through or how many friends or family members I've gone through he's the one person that I'll never go through. B/c u dont go through Josh, u experience him. That sounds cheesy and I know it probably is, but thats the Gods honest truth. He's the person you'll never forget. And I haven't. I dont think I ever can. I love him. I've always loved him. The more time I spend away from him, the more I miss him. He doesnt have a phone......I can't call. This is driving me crazy. Idk what to say about it. Words can't describe what I am feeling. Even if trying to let u comprehend it.....it'll be cheesy,mushy, ewwy goey love crapt. B/c that's exactly what it is.
La la la la Love,
Lovely Lexy
I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.
Posted at 8:12 pm by SexyLexy
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Monday, December 13, 2004
Jake, well not much to say about him. He's the greatest thing that ever happened to the whiggers of America. Well best thing set aside from Eminem. I Love that man. He's that shooting star every Kim is looking for.
rockin' tweenties
meetin' hunnies
spendin' monies
makin' funnies
That's the life that Jake built
By:JAke
Posted at 9:36 pm by SexyLexy
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